Shades💋of 💋Dominique

The Pressure

Since I can remember, I’ve always been considered “pretty”, smart, and “good”. Not by everyone but in general those have been words to describe me. I pretty much did what I was told to do by adults. I didn’t talk back and I followed the rules. Never really mean to people and I tried my best to make others happy. I wasn’t genius type smart, but I am/was really smart. I catch on to things easily and I have an excellent memory. If I really tried I probably could have continued getting mostly A’s throughout my years of education. Was told I was pretty or cute a lot. Not only cute but I had a nice shape. Again I don’t think Im Halle Berry gorgeous and I didn’t have the biggest butt/ breasts or the flattest stomach. I was like standard pretty and had average proportions. 
Though none of these traits were too the extreme, they have been engraved in me. I feel like I always have to look pretty, my body always has to be on point, I always have to do what’s right and I always have to do well in school and in my career. When I stray outside of those standards…family and/or friends have something to say. I don’t think they do it maliciously but they don’t realize the pressure it puts on me. I’ve done some extreme and risky things at times to make sure I lived up to those standards. It sometimes put me in a funk if I feel like I l’ve disappointed them. There are decisions that I’ve made recently, that hasn’t sat well with a lot of people who know me. To them it’s unlike “me” and that something has to be wrong. 
Now I will say that as of late, I’ve been the one putting the most pressure on myself to live up to those standards. I love looking good, I love striving for better, and pleasing others. There have been times when loved ones told me I was perfect as is but I didn’t see it. I feel like there’s always room for improvement and failure isn’t an option. I think I’m just so used to it that I don’t know how to be any other way. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and I push myself too hard sometimes. Which can lead to burnout and then I do the opposite . I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having standards but sometimes it would be nice to not feel the pressure of such high standards.

This entry was published on February 9, 2017 at 3:04 pm. It’s filed under Beauty, Dailypost, Diary, Fitness, Hair, Health, Journaling, Live, Love, Memories, Self love, Selfie, Then and Now, Thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: