Shades💋of 💋Dominique

The Pressure

Since I can remember, I’ve always been considered “pretty”, smart, and “good”. Not by everyone but in general those have been words to describe me. I pretty much did what I was told to do by adults. I didn’t talk back and I followed the rules. Never really mean to people and I tried my best to make others happy. I wasn’t genius type smart, but I am/was really smart. I catch on to things easily and I have an excellent memory. If I really tried I probably could have continued getting mostly A’s throughout my years of education. Was told I was pretty or cute a lot. Not only cute but I had a nice shape. Again I don’t think Im Halle Berry gorgeous and I didn’t have the biggest butt/ breasts or the flattest stomach. I was like standard pretty and had average proportions. 
Though none of these traits were too the extreme, they have been engraved in me. I feel like I always have to look pretty, my body always has to be on point, I always have to do what’s right and I always have to do well in school and in my career. When I stray outside of those standards…family and/or friends have something to say. I don’t think they do it maliciously but they don’t realize the pressure it puts on me. I’ve done some extreme and risky things at times to make sure I lived up to those standards. It sometimes put me in a funk if I feel like I l’ve disappointed them. There are decisions that I’ve made recently, that hasn’t sat well with a lot of people who know me. To them it’s unlike “me” and that something has to be wrong. 
Now I will say that as of late, I’ve been the one putting the most pressure on myself to live up to those standards. I love looking good, I love striving for better, and pleasing others. There have been times when loved ones told me I was perfect as is but I didn’t see it. I feel like there’s always room for improvement and failure isn’t an option. I think I’m just so used to it that I don’t know how to be any other way. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and I push myself too hard sometimes. Which can lead to burnout and then I do the opposite . I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having standards but sometimes it would be nice to not feel the pressure of such high standards.

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This entry was published on February 9, 2017 at 3:04 pm. It’s filed under Beauty, Dailypost, Diary, Fitness, Hair, Health, Journaling, Live, Love, Memories, Self love, Selfie, Then and Now, Thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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