“You’re so beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you” Ha!! Hear it all the time but they don’t know the ish I been through.
Daddy was there but not really there…mama had us young so she was never home.
Four siblings yes I had that Middle child syndrome, shy, quiet, scared, and lonely, had a lot to say but kept it all in my demented little dome.
Mental, emotional, and physical abandonment, grew up in multiple, low income, unpleasant and grim environments.
All I wanted was to be loved and to have a family. Everywhere I looked, happily married couples was an anomaly.
Soap operas, romance novels, lovey-dovey poems,and sappy movies, had me thinking I could have it too if I was a submissive beauty.
Undivided attention, gift showers, daily love notes, constant affection, unwavering support, put me on your pedestal, I am your biggest and bestest trophy
Excite me, entice me, spoil me, seduce me, love me and never ever leave me…
If all of these requirements are not met, best believe I’m leaving off set.
My life, I’ve been trying to live like a romance movie, waiting for that special someone to be my leading costar and biggest groupie.
Unrealistic expectations continues to plague my mind, many have tried but they all just get left behind.
The victim becomes the abuser, those childhood issues has me feeling like a dreadful user.
Beautiful, intelligent, kind, a fun time, and ambitious… emotional, screwed up, hurt, a narcissist, cold, and sometimes vicious.
Just like a Monét…beautiful and desirable from afar…get a little closer, you’ll see I’m a mess, and you’ll be speeding away in your car.